1. you iron your clothes and put them in the closet, then when you take them out to wear, you realize they're wrinkled again because your closet is too full.
2. you've taken to asking salespeople not to give you a shoebox, then you hide new shoes in nooks and crannies around the house, because you don't want your weekly helper (who puts the shoes back in the shoe cabinet) to judge you for your "problem".
3. you start wanting to sell shit on ebay to make room for new purchases. not your own shit -- your partner's.
4. in the 10 or 15 years since you hit puberty, you never bothered to figure out how far apart your periods are, but you know exactly how many days it is till the shopping prohibition period ends.
5. you watch gossip girl and start thinking about headbands, watch fresh prince and start thinking about 80s blazers, watch curious george and start thinking about acid brights (yellow in particular, i wonder why...), watch transformers and think of hussein chalayan, watch gremlins and think about fur coats/exotic skin bags (depending on whether it's pre- or post-midnight feeding)...
6. you kind of start to realize that cruella de ville wasn't so far off the beaten path with that dalmation coat idea... now where to find 101 dalmations...
7. it's 10pm and you haven't eaten dinner, because you're busy blogging about reasons you should not shop, which you are doing in order to prevent yourself from online shopping. or massacring 101 dalmations.
8. you can't think of a eighth reason, because you're thinking about those dries-style shoes your friend, who is not boycotting the shops, just purchased.
9. you've lost countless friends over the past year because you work too hard to go out, or you're too old to go out, or you're too busy to meet up, but somehow your wardrobe doubled in size in the same period. hm.
10. you rationalize that you're happier with more clothes and less friends anyway.
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